Moved to MixCloud because soundcloud hates djs.
The first episode of season 4 premiered last night. When Spartacus rode over the hill in slow motion I was like HOLY SHIT – JOYGASM!! Then straight into 5 minutes of cgi arterial spray and gore, then straight into titties. Fuck everything else, there is only Spartacus!
- Tags: 1, 4, arterial, awesome, battle, beheading, blood, bloody, cgi, cgi arterial spray, commanders, damned, death, decay, destroying, doctore, else, empire, episode, episode 1, episode one, everything, fantastic, first, four, fuck, fuck everything else there is only spartacus, fuck the romans, fun, funny, gore, gorey, gory, great, insane, is, killing, krixis, maiming, of, offensive, one, only, outrageous, rad, romans, season, season 4, season four, spartacus, spray, starz, television show, the, there, titties, tv show, war, war of the damned
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I thought these were funny. Better get used to them, it doesn’t look like they’re gonna stop any time soon.
Edit: They stopped really soon.
- Tags: ariel, better off dead, bill clinton, binders, binders full of women, captain picard, debate, dumb, full, funny, girl, hilarious, hillary clinton, hugh hefner, john cusack, ladies, lady, meme, of, offensive, one does not simply, political, political debate, romney, silly, stop the debate, stupid, the little mermaid, why the fuck, woman, women
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fucking with people who send these emails trying to steal your account, get you to send money, and/or whatever else.
First album in 4 years, first free album in 7 years. An old album I had been working on since 2003, and then my hard drive crashed in ’09 and I lost all the files. Luckily I had uploaded a bunch of the songs to my website and found them again. Fixed em up best I could, and now I have a new free 25 song album for download – Go check it out!
- Category: Artwork, Humor
- Tags: 2013, anyone but him, anything but that, blockbuster, call, call of cthulhu, crazy, cthulhu, dark, direct, directed, director, dumb, fantasy, funny, h. p., h. p. lovecraft, hp, humor, lovecraft, michael bay, odd, of, offensive, please god no, produce, producing, silly, summer, summer 2013, weird
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Please watch the above clip of the Daily Show. In it John pretty much makes fun of the candidates in a typical John Stewart way, with some good parody photos to accompany his wit (“The Bra-Shank Redemption” – classic!)
Well, the fine people at comedy central posted this clip on the Daily Show facebook page, which is where I go to watch the Daily Show. I no longer watch full episodes, I don’t watch tv so I never catch it there, I don’t really want to see most of his guests, so I just pick and choose and skim over clips on their facebook page, usually when I’m eating or just taking a break after a prolonged interwebz session usually consisting of me either zazzling, facebooking, pintresting, soundclouding, websiting, youtubing, 4chaning, nerding out on some meme site, or masturbating, or a combination of all. Yes, I have internet ADD.
For some reason I decided to take a gander at the comments on this one. About halfway down the stream, some chick named Hope Stout Rogers posts “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” which, in case she missed it, was what the ENTIRE LAST COUPLE JOKES THAT JOHN DID WERE ABOUT, without actually saying something completely stupid like “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!”
I highly believe that people should not be allowed to comment on pages like the Daily Show facebook page, because anything they say will either be a terrible pun involving what happened on the show, a joke where they try really hard to be funny but completely fucking fail at it, or, as with the case of Hope Stout Rogers, just something plain retarded. Look, the people of the Daily Show – John Stewart, the comedians that play anchors on the show, and the writers of the show – ARE MOTHERFUCKING PROFESSIONALS! Which is Why they are on that show to begin with. BECAUSE THEY ARE THAT FUCKING GOOD AT BEING FUNNY! Everybody else, especially the people who try to be funny in comments on a facebook profile, are a GREAT DEAL LESS FUNNY THAN THE PROFESSIONALS ON THE DAILY SHOW. Therefore – DON’T TRY TO OUTDO ANYTHING THEY DID, BECAUSE YOU WILL FUCKING FAIL AT IT HARD!!!! And, most times, look like a complete fucking moron and/or fool. Like Hope Stout Rogers, although I don’t think she was trying to be funny, she is just that fucking stupid that she didn’t get that that was what the ENTIRE LAST FEW JOKES WERE ABOUT, so she felt compelled to jot down a stupid fucking opinion and make an ass out of herself by showing everyone that she has no clue what is going on when it comes to the humor of the Daily Show, and probably most things that go on in the world, for that matter.
I mean what would make a person want to write something as fucking stupid as “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” She obviously watched the whole video clip because that was at the very end. But did she miss the other jokes, the other cracks at it, the big build to the final joke??? Let’s break down why the final jokes were funny, shall we?
John Stewart says that Newt Gingrich is, pretty much what Hope said, “a doom and gloom guy.” Which is why, after the montage of all the “doom and gloom” shit that Newt says, it cuts back to John wearing a heavy-duty gas mask. As in: “All that ‘doom and gloom’ shit I just saw in that Newt Gingrich montage scared me so much that I put on this gas mask because I think something horrible is going to happen after all that ‘doom and gloom’ shit that Gingrich just said.” Therein lies the joke, you see? Scary Gingrich montage, cut to John wearing a gas mask. Now, right before the ‘doom and gloom’ montage, all the other candidates said one word that sums their personalities up. All but Newt. So there’s this huge build-up to the final joke: ‘doom and gloom’ montage, cut to John wearing a gas mask as in he’s afraid because of all the ‘doom and gloom’ shit Newt was saying, and then comes the final joke of the clip: What one word will Gingrich use to sum himself up?? You might think “frightened”, “sad”, “worried”, “disheartened”, or something equally as grim as Everything he just said in the ‘doom and gloom’ montage. But no, he goes the completely opposite direction and says, “Cheerful.” Which might of been stated ironically after all the ‘doom and gloom’ shit he spouted out, or maybe he genuinely thinks he’s cheerful? Who knows? But the fact of the matter is is that he didn’t say what you’d expect, a word that would be equally as gloomy as everything he said in that big montage of all bad stuff that he said, he said something completely opposite of that: Cheerful. Which is why John Stewart gives a “I GIVE UP” look and just walks off the stage, something that he usually does quite well, but this just didn’t really live up to his usual John Stewart standards… it was still good, but not spot on like usual… but I digress.
The point of this whole rant is that there was a whole series of well-calculated clips and jokes leading up to this very last joke, and it served it’s purpose, it kept your attention, it didn’t give itself away too badly, and it had a quick resolution, one of those jokes that drives the whole build-up to it home. A well-played effort indeed on behalf of the writers of the Daily Show. Not one of their best of all time, but good nonetheless.
But the problem that comes about is when people try to fucking be funny in the comments on something that was already funny. Like the Daily Show will offer them a fucking job if they crack some quip that any retarded 8-year-old could come up with.
Or somebody who says something that is “stream-of-thought.” Somebody like Hope with her amazing analysis, “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” Did you just think of that precisely 1 second before you wrote that? Is it just an afterthought? Or are you actually trying to be funny there? I mean that is such a simple bullshit comment, how could you possibly think that is funny? I generally don’t like the “really? who does that?!?” category of jokes. It usually reflects people who aren’t funny but try to be. They can’t think of anything witty or anything off the wall or anything to make the joke better, so they state the obvious defect in a person and says, “who does that?” “That baby cried for 7 hours straight! Really? Who does that?!?” – to which the answer is: a baby. “That guy picked his nose and ate the booger. Really? Who does that?!?” – the answer is: that guy. “I wore a dress to a party that this girl was at, and she asked where I got it, and then at the next party she was wearing the exact same dress that I was wearing at the other party! Really? Who does that?!?” – the answer is: that girl. You see what I’m getting at here? That line of jokes shines a big fucking spotlight on their sense of humor, as in, they don’t motherfucking have one and should never pretend like they do have one because the only thing that’s going to come out is some dumbed-down idiocy. Just don’t do it. Say No to the “Who does that?”
I guess my point is: Unfunny people in the world: STOP TRYING! Especially on something that is already the pinnacle of the comedy world, or at least very very close. Because that is what the Daily Show is. Sure, they have a few misses here and there, but for every miss they have 100 hits. People who are not comedians usually have 100 misses and, maybe if they’re lucky, 1 hit. The Daily Show has been around for 10+ years. Doing the same thing, day in and day out. They have it down to a science. They have the best writers, the best comedians, they get to pick and choose everything that is the best, which makes them the best. You are just one person, and, as hard as it is to believe, anything you say will not be anywhere near as close to as funny as what they say. And with a show like that, you need to trump the funny that was going on in that segment, or it just won’t even register in people’s heads and they will either just totally ignore what you said or think you are a big fat fucking fucktard. Like Hope.
In case you were wondering if I replied to it trying to be funny, I actually did the opposite, I replied to it calling Hope out on being Not Funny: “Every day I thank whatever higher power there is that people like Hope Stout Rogers are there to completely ruin a joke by taking it seriously and trying to make into a joke themselves, such as “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!”, and, by doing so, completely reiterates what the joke was to begin with. Only in a not funny way. Great work, Hope Stout….” Which I personally think is funny, and if somebody else wrote that, I would be all, “Holy shit, *whoever that person is* completely fucking nailed it on that one. God I hate unfunny people trying to be funny.”
Anyways, hopefully this will open Hope’s eyes, and hopefully maybe a few others, that they should just keep their mouths fucking shut and not reply to Everything on the web because they have an opinion or a thought that they feel everyone else in the world should know about.
- Category: Rant
- Tags: bad jokes, book, central, comedy, comedy central, crass, daily, dumb, dumb jokes, face, facebook, free, free thought, fucked, idiot, imbecile, john, john stewart, jokes, jokes that should not be told, moron, moronic, of, rant, ranting, rants, retarded, show, shut up, silly, stewart, stop, stop trying to be funny, stream, stream of thought, stupid, the, the daily show, thought, trying, unfunny, unfunny people, unfunny people of the world, wrong
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