Here is a great facebook page to visit! Marijuana Makes You Violent
Have awesome conversations like this one!
Here is a great facebook page to visit! Marijuana Makes You Violent
Have awesome conversations like this one!
Reach Through Screen,
Strangle Person On Other Side!
Which precisely sums up what I wish I could do when somebody posts this lowest common denominator garbage:
which are bad enough to begin with, but, by the looks of it, now the fucking illiterate are trying their hand at these cocksuckers. RTS, SPOOS!
If these people:
1) are serious then they are fucking pathetic
2) are not serious, they are either:
a) fucking pathetic
b) wasting people’s time. fucking assholes.
c) going to sell their page with 1 million likes to a band, artist, politician or some other group who are too lazy to generate their own fanbase. fucking assholes.
Join my facebook group http://www.facebook.com/Anti1MillionLikes dedicated to despising this bullshit. This is a trend that needs to end now.
This year, why not make a really good New Year’s Resolution for once in your life? Make an oath to yourself, and to the internet, that you will stop posting these bullshit hallmark happy-go-lucky sugar-coated lowest-common-denominator make-everyone-happy waste-of-time fucking cocksucker macros on facebook or anywhere else! If you are the type of person who has to define themselves by retarded quotes then you are exactly the type of person who is nothing like those quotes. Why not make up your own quotes, why not make up your own definition of yourself? Nobody wants to read this shit, nobody cares, nobody thinks it’s sweet or cute or funny or amazing or a life-changer, it’s not going to make a difference in anyone’s day except waste 10-30 seconds of their life, 10-30 seconds that they’ll never get back! YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD! What does it take for you motherfuckers to understand? So, please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, have a macro intervention for a loved one, somebody who you know is making these, or even an intervention for yourself if you can’t stop posting these. MAKE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION THAT WILL HELP EVERYONE!
What do you see when you see these 2 girls? This is from a site called Quote Portal, which is basically a bunch of 13 year olds whining about how hard life is and posting stupid quotes. The concept is you post something, people like it or don’t like it, and then it ranks the quotes according to likes. So somebody posted this picture today with the caption, “Too much make up = LIKE. Normal = COMMENT.” – which of course, even though explained in the simplest textspeak english that even the dumbest teenager could understand, people couldn’t just follow the ‘rules’ and like it if they didn’t like the appearance of these 2 girls, and by people I mean girls. They just had to jot down their cunty opinion too, couldn’t just like it and leave it at that, no! “I’ve got to say something about this!” said the cunty girls. Here are some comment walls of said cunty opinions, just some of the over 2300 comments left in the last 11 hours, and I’m not blanking out the names, these girls deserve to be remembered forever as the cunts they are:
Now granted, there were a smattering of guys here and there, and a few girls who did actually offer positive remarks (I wonder if that hurts them physically?), and I’m wondering if there was kind of a “jump on the bandwagon” kind of mentality going on here? Like cuntiness attracts more cuntiness – “Ohhhh, what that girl said was a pretty good cunty remark, and, even though she is an ugly whore whom I’ve never met but really hate almost as much as these two blonde hookers, I’m going let that set the bar for my cunty remark, except my comment will be way better than hers.” Otherwise I pretty much went in order, left to right, 1-8, I skipped some bullshit advertising (brilliant product placement idea, fuckface), and a couple times where guys commented more than girls (just to keep a theme) – they were mostly like “I would totally fuck them and cum in them and stuff” anyways (like most dumb fucking guys do on pictures of girls, no matter what they look like) plus the guys who mostly say the same things as the girls do were probably just saying that in the off chance that they would get to fuck one of them someday (which is the normal motivation for most guys who always agree with girls and take the girl’s side.)
Beyond that small disclaimer (and the *very few* nice girl opinions) this is a fine example of how girls really are. Disturbing, to say the least. What the fuck is wrong with people? Who the fuck are you cunts to say anything? What in your head makes it right to comment so negatively on two girls whom you’ve never met, will most likely never ever meet, know nothing about, and will probably never see again? You are on the internet so you think you are anonymous? You aren’t anonymous, and now everybody can see you and what you said. I hope a billion people come here and see your cunty remark and remember your name and picture and one day meet you on the street and shout “CUNT!” in your face. Because that’s what you are. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, which translates to never talk again.
Let me put it another way: when was the last time you saw two thousand plus dudes commenting negatively on another dude’s picture (not counting Justin Bieber, he’s not a dude anyways, he’s some sort of alien hermaphrodite.) Yes I just said a cunty remark about Justin Bieber, but he’s Justin Bieber. Musicians, while people too, are celebrities, and, along with sport stars, actors and politicians, have to take a lot of shit just because they are in the spotlight all the time and, face it, you just can’t make everyone in the world like you. I don’t know Justin Bieber, I know I don’t like his music, beyond that I don’t give two fucks about him, and wouldn’t go out of my way to comment something mean about his appearance. Well, beyond this blog post hahaha. For some reason dudes just hate Bieber, so I thought it would be relevant to exempt him from the choices. But I digress… My point is is that these two blonde girls are 2 nobodies that none of these people know, who commented on their status just out of pure malice when they were supposed to *only comment* if they liked them, or, according to the description, thought they were “Normal”, whatever the fuck normal means. And out of those 2300+ comments, I’d say 85-90% of them were girls posting negative comments.
One thing to note is that I believe these are Halloween costumes that the two blonde girls were planning on going as. Which, if true, makes the girls who commented even more cuntacious because it’s not even what they look like normally!
Another thing that blows my mind, and is well-demonstrated by a comment thread like this, is how stupid and unoriginal people really are. jesus christ – way to kill the Oompa Loompa joke – “DERP DERP OOMPA LOOMPA DERP!” (which, according to IMDB and other sources, is the correct way to spell it – if you’re going to kill a joke like that at least spell the character you are referencing correctly.) Also - “They look like they glow in the dark/put a blacklight on them I bet they glow.” – how does that even make sense? And - “They looked like they rolled around in Doritos/Cheetos.” – which, yes, they kind of do look like that, but then again – shut the fuck up. “Whores/sluts” – who the fuck are you, bitch, to say anything about people you know absolutely nothing about? I mean why even bother?!?
I’m no psychologist, but negative behavior like this can’t be good for you. Analyzing it, I want to say they are jealous/envious of these girls? They know these girls probably get a lot of attention, which they probably don’t get, and therefore have to talk shit to try and get them down to their level? It’s all about competition for a man to get them pregnant so they can pass their genes on to a new generation and their bloodline survives while others fail? And by talking shit they might fool the ‘good’ man that would normally go after these girls into getting them pregnant instead? Wow, it must be really fucked up to live your life continuously competing to lay on your back and spread your legs for the best possible genetic makeup you can find so he can ejaculate inside you and the next generation is born.
All in all, kudos to those who said some actual positive things in this fucking idiotic facebook thread. And fuck off and die to those cunts who can’t keep their mouths shut without something degrading spouting out of it. I hope your genetic code goes Nowhere, so one day my kids, if I even want to bring kids into this world after seeing shit like this, don’t have to listen to your cunty kids spout off bullshit on whatever social media site everybody uses in the future.
I used to think these were kind of funny. Like 6 fucking months ago. They were witty at times (6 months ago), off-the-wall, come-at-you-from-nowhere at other times (6 months ago.) Some were a little bit offensive (6 months ago), some used just the right amount of swearing (6 months ago.) And I like the style of art the pictures use – solid color with old-timey looking vector art. But lately it seems that every single person on facebook, especially (quote on quote) humor groups have figured out that these are a (quote on quote) good solution when they run out of actual funny stuff. Which, it seems, they run out of actual funny stuff a lot. “Hrm, can’t scour google images or macro sites hard enough to find anything good, so I’ll just post another ecard so people still think I’m funny.” Look, it’s simple: if you’re going to make a humor group on facebook (or anywhere), make sure you have the following things accounted for:
1) You’re funny enough to make your own funny shit.
2) You’re good enough with the interwebz to know how to look for funny things, ie, things that are actually funny.
3) Make sure you add other people who are funny to pick up the slack, or all the slack if you’re not funny. But if you’re not funny, then you shouldn’t have made a “humor group”, now should you?
4) Delete your fucking ecard fap folder for fucks sake. Last thing people want is to be bombarded by another 10-20 ecard posts a day.
I’ve noticed a lot of people looking for Katy Perry’s Tits as a search string. Naughty naughty =P If Katy Perry’s tits are on your mind, and, let’s face it, there’s much worse things you could think about, check out this facebook page I found a while ago – Katy Perry’s Rack. It… well, let’s just say it can probably provide you with what you’re looking for =)
Today I was David Bowie. Check it on the Ustream video we made today. I usually just play background music, but today I did my first ad-lib call in segment. It was a lot of fun!
Just got it up on Youtube so you can watch it here.
I recently heard that Best Buy hires trolls to give people shit who complain on their facebook page about how much they suck. I myself get trolls all the time on the website I made Best Buy Sucks about, wow, almost 10 years ago now. Google Best Buy Sucks, mine is the first site =). Anyways these trolls pose as regular facebookers who deride and generally make a mockery of people who complain on their facebook, trying to make it out to be their faults because they were just a “stupid customer.” What a bunch of fucks Best Buy are.
Face eating. Wow, what a fucked up story, amirite? Ok, done talking about it. But kudos to the person who made the fake news article about how it was a virus called the LQP-79 virus and has started spreading, people were being quarantined, etc. I actually just got done rewatching seasons 1 and 2 of The Walking Dead (marathoned all the episodes over the course of 2 days), and it sounded pretty damn real to me, or maybe I was just in ‘zombie mode’ and I could of read anything about zombies and believe, at least slightly, that it was real. Whatever, it was a well-written troll, and whoever came up with it, I commend you!
Really nerding out with RMXP lately. Had a lot of free time because I’m unemployed (first time in 7 years, kinda just maxin and relaxin for the time being, because I kind of forgot what that was like) Sent off a lot of resumes n shit, but in my spare time just been pounding away at my game Dungeon Hunters, which, to tell you the truth, has been a work in progress since my high school days when I programmed rpg games in BASIC. Started the damn thing 3 times, one was on my friends computer from college which I never finished because school got out and I kind of gave up hope that he kept it after a couple years. Next one was in Brainerd on my friends laptop. I hate laptops for the simple fact that they have those little windows below the keys that you scroll with, I just can never get it to work, or I feel like my fingers are going to break trying to click the button while doing, it sucks, it’s like I’ve never touched a computer in my life when I get on a laptop, I just hate feeling computer illiterate when I’m quite the opposite. Anyways, this was my first time experiencing this kind of scrolly window thing, and everything was going great, had a few thousand lines of code, but then one night I opened a New project by accident, and, through a combination of my laptop scrolly window retardation and fat fingers, somehow saved as the project name when I was trying to close it. So just lost all that code, never backed it up or anything. The next time was on my friends Mac in St. Cloud. I programmed and programmed line after line of code, and the guy deleted the project from his computer because he thought it was taking up too much memory at 3MBs, lol, I guess that was a lot back them. Then in 2000 RPG Maker came out for playstation – one damn store in all of St. Cloud had it, and it was a display model, but it worked, and I started remaking the game I made in BASIC into RPG Maker, which was great because of all the graphics and everything. Well, that game was fucked because the way the experience system worked, you got to a certain point and the experience to get to the next level was exactly the same as the experience to get to the last level. So you fight harder and harder monsters that give more and more experience, but your xp needed to get to the next level never goes up so you start gaining levels faster than the levels before it stopped increasing. I couldn’t fucking believe it, who in their right mind would program something like that? Why put a fucking cap on your xp grid? It makes absolutely no sense – they could of at least motherfucking told you that you did that so you didn’t play through your game, make the game big enough to get to that level and then find out that the next level was going to be easier to get to all of a sudden. Goddamn that pissed me off. So I abandoned the whole thing and started remaking it in Liberty BASIC for pc on my very own pc so I didn’t have any worries about motherfuckers deleting it, I made several backups so I didn’t have to worry about me deleting it, and I could create my own xp system that increased gradually and exponentially forever (THE WAY IT FUCKING SHOULD BE.) But after all was said and done, I learned late last year that there was a new RPG Maker, one for windows, which gave me unlimited space to make it, I could copy and paste and easily type out long paragraphs of dialogue, and I could add my own music and artwork through a simple importing tool. So I’ve been working on that off and on (long off when Skyrim rolled around) for the past 7 or 8 months, and have gotten pretty far on it. The battle system is in the style of.. well it’s kind of like Dragon Warrior without the battle going out in text, you can fight up to 8 monsters at once, it’s 32 bit so it’s pretty flashy (as flashy as 32 bit gets), with spell effects like you flash white when you’re Stopped and stuff like that until the status wears off. It takes place underground and the whole world is a dungeon, ranging from caves to catacombs to dungeons to temples to deserts to forests to swamps and more. Your characters arrive in this world (you get 4 characters who can use any weapon, armor, accessory and other things, ie, no classes) and you have to battle your way through these dungeons to find certain people to help you get home. Everything costs money, but since you’re continually fighting stuff that really isn’t a problem, and, over time (over 100 hours my last game, got about 70% through the game, although I did fall asleep at the keyboard a few times) you start to get more powerful and it really gives a sense of accomplishment, not like I’m weak I’m weak I’m weak all of a sudden I’m Amazing. No, it’s a slow climb, but when you get powerful you are really powerful and you really feel like you’ve earned it. There are hundreds of items to get, tons and tons and tons of monsters to fight with hundreds of special attacks, you can get dozens and dozens of spells yourself, and you just gradually make your way through these places. It’s kind of like Metroid in the fact that you can go to one area but you can’t explore the whole area until you go to another area and get an item that allows you to continue in the first area, which leads you to another item that helps you get through another area. You can find all kinds of secrets, you can bomb the walls like in Zelda and find secret caves filled with wondrous treasures. It’s also, of course, a lot like Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior, and pretty much a culmination of every other rpg I’ve ever played. And I’ve played a Lot. Before video games even tried to step foot in the RPG realm, I was in that dimly lit room with 4 other nerds playing D&D and any other pen and paper rpg I could get my hands on. I have made tons of art for it, from icons of items/armor/weapons to monsters to backgrounds to the title screen. It utilizes Ruby which you can program to calculate stuff like random variables like in BASIC, so I have become pretty adept to pretty fast. You can import mp3s so I’ve also made music for it using Reason and some other programs. I also plan on making a website for it soon as well. It’s like every skill I’ve ever acquired through years of being a giant nerd, every little thing that I’ve liked about every nerdy game I’ve ever played, has led up to this point LOL. A giant nerdy masterpiece. Hopefully I can finish it soon, it is draining though, hard to work on it for 24 hours and then get up the same ambition the next day to go just as hard, especially when you get stuck on some tedious thing that refuses to work for you. But all in all I think I love it!
The latest 2 tracks on my SoundCloud are songs I made for the title screens (which I also made) of 2 ‘Event’ systems that I made as stand alone things that people can download and use for their own game. One was called “A Sexy Rainstorm” and featured a rainstorm with random thunder, rain effects, and different lengths of lighting (sometimes double flashes.) The other was called “Bomberpot” which is a mini game where you pick a pot to bomb and if there’s a doll inside you win money.
But, anyways, I’ve been unemployed for 2 months and money is dwindling, so I’m really going hard on the resume thing lately. Precious Metals – the band that I’m in – is doing great, our songs are getting really tight and we are going to be playing shows in the Twin Cites soon. I’ve had an offer (don’t know if legit or..) to get some of my Agent Empire – another band I was in a couple years ago – into films and actually get paid for it! And then there’s Please Insert Me (plays at the top), my own album that I’ve been sitting on for almost 3 years now, just can’t seem to get the time to get together with the guy and putting together a final master for it. Also doing side projects with ?TV with this puppet show and freestyle jam sessions, where I pretty much sample things and set them to beats and then sample the next thing and layer them and sample something new. I just do so much all the time that I get sidetracked easily. It’s hard keeping up on being a nerd, a music nerd, a web and graphic design nerd, a band nerd, a gaming nerd, and now a gaming nerd for my own game.
Here’s a bunch of shit I stole off of 4chan to post in various groups on facebook to make my friends think I’m funny. My rouse was a complete success!
Please watch the above clip of the Daily Show. In it John pretty much makes fun of the candidates in a typical John Stewart way, with some good parody photos to accompany his wit (“The Bra-Shank Redemption” – classic!)
Well, the fine people at comedy central posted this clip on the Daily Show facebook page, which is where I go to watch the Daily Show. I no longer watch full episodes, I don’t watch tv so I never catch it there, I don’t really want to see most of his guests, so I just pick and choose and skim over clips on their facebook page, usually when I’m eating or just taking a break after a prolonged interwebz session usually consisting of me either zazzling, facebooking, pintresting, soundclouding, websiting, youtubing, 4chaning, nerding out on some meme site, or masturbating, or a combination of all. Yes, I have internet ADD.
For some reason I decided to take a gander at the comments on this one. About halfway down the stream, some chick named Hope Stout Rogers posts “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” which, in case she missed it, was what the ENTIRE LAST COUPLE JOKES THAT JOHN DID WERE ABOUT, without actually saying something completely stupid like “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!”
I highly believe that people should not be allowed to comment on pages like the Daily Show facebook page, because anything they say will either be a terrible pun involving what happened on the show, a joke where they try really hard to be funny but completely fucking fail at it, or, as with the case of Hope Stout Rogers, just something plain retarded. Look, the people of the Daily Show – John Stewart, the comedians that play anchors on the show, and the writers of the show – ARE MOTHERFUCKING PROFESSIONALS! Which is Why they are on that show to begin with. BECAUSE THEY ARE THAT FUCKING GOOD AT BEING FUNNY! Everybody else, especially the people who try to be funny in comments on a facebook profile, are a GREAT DEAL LESS FUNNY THAN THE PROFESSIONALS ON THE DAILY SHOW. Therefore – DON’T TRY TO OUTDO ANYTHING THEY DID, BECAUSE YOU WILL FUCKING FAIL AT IT HARD!!!! And, most times, look like a complete fucking moron and/or fool. Like Hope Stout Rogers, although I don’t think she was trying to be funny, she is just that fucking stupid that she didn’t get that that was what the ENTIRE LAST FEW JOKES WERE ABOUT, so she felt compelled to jot down a stupid fucking opinion and make an ass out of herself by showing everyone that she has no clue what is going on when it comes to the humor of the Daily Show, and probably most things that go on in the world, for that matter.
I mean what would make a person want to write something as fucking stupid as “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” She obviously watched the whole video clip because that was at the very end. But did she miss the other jokes, the other cracks at it, the big build to the final joke??? Let’s break down why the final jokes were funny, shall we?
John Stewart says that Newt Gingrich is, pretty much what Hope said, “a doom and gloom guy.” Which is why, after the montage of all the “doom and gloom” shit that Newt says, it cuts back to John wearing a heavy-duty gas mask. As in: “All that ‘doom and gloom’ shit I just saw in that Newt Gingrich montage scared me so much that I put on this gas mask because I think something horrible is going to happen after all that ‘doom and gloom’ shit that Gingrich just said.” Therein lies the joke, you see? Scary Gingrich montage, cut to John wearing a gas mask. Now, right before the ‘doom and gloom’ montage, all the other candidates said one word that sums their personalities up. All but Newt. So there’s this huge build-up to the final joke: ‘doom and gloom’ montage, cut to John wearing a gas mask as in he’s afraid because of all the ‘doom and gloom’ shit Newt was saying, and then comes the final joke of the clip: What one word will Gingrich use to sum himself up?? You might think “frightened”, “sad”, “worried”, “disheartened”, or something equally as grim as Everything he just said in the ‘doom and gloom’ montage. But no, he goes the completely opposite direction and says, “Cheerful.” Which might of been stated ironically after all the ‘doom and gloom’ shit he spouted out, or maybe he genuinely thinks he’s cheerful? Who knows? But the fact of the matter is is that he didn’t say what you’d expect, a word that would be equally as gloomy as everything he said in that big montage of all bad stuff that he said, he said something completely opposite of that: Cheerful. Which is why John Stewart gives a “I GIVE UP” look and just walks off the stage, something that he usually does quite well, but this just didn’t really live up to his usual John Stewart standards… it was still good, but not spot on like usual… but I digress.
The point of this whole rant is that there was a whole series of well-calculated clips and jokes leading up to this very last joke, and it served it’s purpose, it kept your attention, it didn’t give itself away too badly, and it had a quick resolution, one of those jokes that drives the whole build-up to it home. A well-played effort indeed on behalf of the writers of the Daily Show. Not one of their best of all time, but good nonetheless.
But the problem that comes about is when people try to fucking be funny in the comments on something that was already funny. Like the Daily Show will offer them a fucking job if they crack some quip that any retarded 8-year-old could come up with.
Or somebody who says something that is “stream-of-thought.” Somebody like Hope with her amazing analysis, “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!” Did you just think of that precisely 1 second before you wrote that? Is it just an afterthought? Or are you actually trying to be funny there? I mean that is such a simple bullshit comment, how could you possibly think that is funny? I generally don’t like the “really? who does that?!?” category of jokes. It usually reflects people who aren’t funny but try to be. They can’t think of anything witty or anything off the wall or anything to make the joke better, so they state the obvious defect in a person and says, “who does that?” “That baby cried for 7 hours straight! Really? Who does that?!?” – to which the answer is: a baby. “That guy picked his nose and ate the booger. Really? Who does that?!?” – the answer is: that guy. “I wore a dress to a party that this girl was at, and she asked where I got it, and then at the next party she was wearing the exact same dress that I was wearing at the other party! Really? Who does that?!?” – the answer is: that girl. You see what I’m getting at here? That line of jokes shines a big fucking spotlight on their sense of humor, as in, they don’t motherfucking have one and should never pretend like they do have one because the only thing that’s going to come out is some dumbed-down idiocy. Just don’t do it. Say No to the “Who does that?”
I guess my point is: Unfunny people in the world: STOP TRYING! Especially on something that is already the pinnacle of the comedy world, or at least very very close. Because that is what the Daily Show is. Sure, they have a few misses here and there, but for every miss they have 100 hits. People who are not comedians usually have 100 misses and, maybe if they’re lucky, 1 hit. The Daily Show has been around for 10+ years. Doing the same thing, day in and day out. They have it down to a science. They have the best writers, the best comedians, they get to pick and choose everything that is the best, which makes them the best. You are just one person, and, as hard as it is to believe, anything you say will not be anywhere near as close to as funny as what they say. And with a show like that, you need to trump the funny that was going on in that segment, or it just won’t even register in people’s heads and they will either just totally ignore what you said or think you are a big fat fucking fucktard. Like Hope.
In case you were wondering if I replied to it trying to be funny, I actually did the opposite, I replied to it calling Hope out on being Not Funny: “Every day I thank whatever higher power there is that people like Hope Stout Rogers are there to completely ruin a joke by taking it seriously and trying to make into a joke themselves, such as “The gloom and doom guy’s one word description of himself is “cheerful”? Really? He scares me!”, and, by doing so, completely reiterates what the joke was to begin with. Only in a not funny way. Great work, Hope Stout….” Which I personally think is funny, and if somebody else wrote that, I would be all, “Holy shit, *whoever that person is* completely fucking nailed it on that one. God I hate unfunny people trying to be funny.”
Anyways, hopefully this will open Hope’s eyes, and hopefully maybe a few others, that they should just keep their mouths fucking shut and not reply to Everything on the web because they have an opinion or a thought that they feel everyone else in the world should know about.
I searched Bilderberg on infowars and on every article for the first 3 pages I posted this: “I have been following infowars and their articles on Bilderberg with great interest for some time now. I recently … More→
I made the picture below after we went on a tirade of jokes about Mel Gibson when he said that “I hope you get raped by a gang of wild niggers” to his wife – like … More→