I am a clown with a clown shoe up my ass.
Life may have a it’s balloon animals and
dancing elephants, but, in the end, I can’t
go see them because it hurts when I
sit on the bleachers because I have a
gigantic shoe in my ass. Repost this
if you are a clown with a clown shoe
up your ass.
I am a gigantic killer robot who is destroying all life on the planet. Sure, I may
kill innocent men, women and children and drink their blood to fuel my biocells
and use their bone marrow to grease my joints. Sure, I may of evaporated all the Earth’s oceans and scorched the sky to pitch black. But I just wanna be loved. Repost this if you are a gigantic killer robot who just wants to be loved.
I have a prosthetic arm that has melted in
a fire and I’m too poor to get a new one.
It kinda just hangs there, like when you pull
taffy just far enough so it stays together but
it’s like all thin in the middle and has big
clumps on either end. Repost if you have a
prosthetic arm that hangs like taffy.
I have an ear growing on my penis.
It doesn’t do anything, it just sticks
out like a normal ear, just on my
penis instead of my head. I can’t,
like, hear any better, or anything.
I tried yelling into it to see, but, as
hard as I try, I just can’t reach it.
Repost this if you have an earpenis.
I am a naughty french maid. All those
movies you’ve seen on the internet?
Yah, I do that shit. I am such a slut.
Is there something you need.. ahem..
dusted? Repost this if you, too, are
a dirty, slutty, naughty french maid
who excels at making house cleaning
From my facebook group Celebrating the Vague Status Updates, here are some more updates from people either looking for attention or… well usually looking for attention. You’d be surprised how many vague posts I see a … More→