Month: December 2012

My Greatest Troll of the Year

Posted by – December 30, 2012

One day I was youtubing and I found myself watching in awe the video below. It’s all about the Oarfish, I’ve never seen one before and it creeped the hell out of me. Absolutely astounded by the sheer size of it, I cracked my knuckles and began what became my greatest troll of the year. Oh youtube commenters, when will you ever learn not to reply to ridiculous shit?

Note:  InvidiousSless and framrh88 are two friends of mine who I told to go check out what I was doing.  They decided to chime in and help in the rouse.  Thanks guys!

djskagnetti (me) 6 months ago
I am a real life scientist. This fish is a horrible creature and will attack humans on sight, as we are very tasty to them. It’s obvious this monster is stunned due to being shocked with a taser harpoon. A taser harpoon is like a harpoon but has electrodes in the tip of the head, used by whalers and deep sea fishermen alike. When it impales the creature a fishermen delivers over 8,9999 volts into the monster’s body. It’s lucky they did, otherwise everyone in this video would be dead today.

itsthelolocaust 6 months ago
8,9999? You’re not a scientist.

djskagnetti 6 months ago
I must apologize, I just realized that I wrote an extra 9. It’s supposed to be “over 8,999 volts”, not 8,9999. I sometimes get carried away when writing numbers when it comes to this fish because I get so worked up at how clueless people are when it comes to the ferocity of it’s nature.

7t6e354r 5 months ago
hahahahaha i like the 8thousand 9thousand nine hundred ninety nine volts part hahahahaha

ben leasure 5 months ago
8,999?!?!? THATS ALMOST OVER 9000!!!!

MrDuskDemise 3 months ago
WHAT???? THERE’S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!!!

thomashud36 3 months ago
Ur a fuking fag dude

MrBible 5 months ago
troll level: 3/10

chemical50crew 5 months ago
…ok

draconicindustries 4 months ago
lol scientist pff hahahahahaha

djskagnetti 4 months ago
YOU DOUBT MY SCIENTIST POWERS, SIR?!?

TheIGots 2 months ago
I’m sorry but I’m not sure I believe you.

djskagnetti 2 months ago
Was it the extra 9 in 8,999? I already addressed this, it was a typo. I apologize for any inconvenience, I just get really worked up when it comes to this 200 foot killer.

TheIGots 2 months ago
Lol yeah that kinda threw me off there. But the part about it being horrible and attacking humans on sight. That’s kind of too brutal for me to believe.

djskagnetti 6 months ago
At 0:30 the wire they are using is chainsaw wire, a wire they use to dismember large fish down to easily portable pieces. An old whaling trick invented in Australia.

itsthelolocaust 6 months ago
That’s a rope, you are literally the worst scientist.

djskagnetti 6 months ago
Notice when the guy says, “this silvery ribbon of the fish.” That’s so it blinds you before it viciously devours you. The thing is diabolical entity second only to Satan himself, I’m telling you!

DynamicCherryz 6 months ago
No, Oarfish are teethless and are harmless. And they live in the deep anyways, so they cant always eat humans. and when they rise to the surface, that is when they die. Oarfish’s diets consist of zooplankton,tiny copepods,and other small creatures in the water.They even might eat small fish or jellies.

djskagnetti 5 months ago
agitated, aroused, berserk, bloodthirsty, brutal, coercive, crazy, cruel, demoniac, desperate, distraught, disturbed, enraged, fierce, fiery, forceful, forcible, frantic, fuming, Furious, headstrong, homicidal, hotheaded, hysterical, impassioned, impetuous, inflamed, intemperate, maddened, maniacal, murderous, potent, powerful, raging, riotous, rough, savage, strong, uncontrollable, unrestrained, vehement, vicious – these are words I think of when I think of this fish.

MegaCodyroberts 5 months ago
Nettie your a stupid bitch its a dossel fish

CommanderBYU 5 months ago
Oarfish are passive. Have you never heard of gentle giants?

theawsomegameteam 5 months ago
Ok, Mr.”Scientist”. This is an Oarfish. it has NO TEETH. it is PASSIVE. it will NOT ATTACK ON SPOT. Plus, it is Fucking HARMLESS. It only eats small things.

And further more, i dont think a Human can fit in his mouth ! -.- Its a getle giant, not all big things are bad

djskagnetti 4 months ago
Wow, Language, Mr.! A piece of a human could! A hand, an elbow, a neck – still very dangerous things to get eaten by an oarfish! BEWARE!

InvidiousSless 4 months ago
That sort of language is despicable! The kind man that pasted this to utube kindly asked people NOT to use the swears cuz uf kids! Kids should’nt read about those f words! Bad!

djskagnetti 4 months ago
That is exactly the kind of thing that I was thinking. Virgin ears over here, guys!

InvidiousSless 4 months ago
I believe in you. I know this is a real-life danger to all humans and animals on the whole Earth!

djskagnetti 4 months ago
Yes! I’m glad somebody can see this monster for what it really is! Thank you!

InvidiousSless 4 months ago
You can tell how dangerous it is by they science of the whole thing. I have read two of your textbooks on ornithology as well.

djskagnetti 4 months ago
Wow, you’ve read my books? You are a saint! It was through a small publishing firm and they’re over 10 years old. I’m surprised anyone has read them at all. Thank you for your patronage! It’s good to know I have fans out there.

InvidiousSless 4 months ago
Ichthyology AND ornithology are VERY important to me, so your books were indispensable. I also care about keeping people and smaller animals from harms way!

framrh88 4 months ago
My brother is missing his finger tip due to this “harmless” animal. He was scuba diving of the Coast of California with some friends. It must have mistaken him for food. To this day he won’t go near the ocean.

InvidiousSless 4 months ago
It is a very dangerous fish. It is documented in books. Sorry about your brother. Will he go in swimming pools and lakes?

framrh88 4 months ago
They don’t have teeth, but they certainly aren’t harmless.

snejanahanadovile 3 months ago
but what prompts them to attack humans? like is there a trigger to the fish, it’s so beautiful and supposedly it was the inspiration to creating a “tender” pokemon, that lives in lakes, called Milotic. and can it live in a huge aquarium, let’s say… like one of those aquariums where there’s millions and millions of gallons of water?

djskagnetti 2 months ago
The only trigger is their insatiable thirst for blood. And yes, it could live in one of those aquariums, but this has been attempted before, and the fish is fine for a while, but then it just goes mad and starts bashing itself against the tank wall. So hard that it either breaks the glass or kills itself. We have tried to figure out why it does this, maybe the pressure is different than it is in the deep sea and discombobulates it’s senses in some way.

snejanahanadovile 2 months ago
aww, that’s a turn down :(

djskagnetti 2 months ago
A turn down indeed. But one thing is for certain, our Institute for Marine Biology located here in Minneapolis, MN, will continue to try raising these horrific monsters in aquariums until we get it right. No matter if we kill hundreds of thousands of oarfish in the process, one day we will prevail!

capete18 2 months ago
“I am a scientist”? Any dummy with a keyboard can learn that oarfish have no teeth, with a diet consisting mainly of plankton and such. Hell, it even states it in the video….shit. I got trolled.

bmxrider2323 2 months ago
okay 1 you are not a scientiest just retarded 2 there is little know about these creatures showing that we are not “tasty” to them and they are very rarley near shore to kill people and thats not a fucking harpoon it is more of a lasso than a harpoon you sir are one dumb mother fukcer

EddardStarkification 4 months ago
your a fucking idiot, its not like this video shows a real life scientist right, and you want to know an even bigger reason your fucking idiot because its called Ichthyology, and if you really claim to be a “real life scientist” you would refer to yourself as a real life Ichthyologist, do yourself a favor and don’t try to act like you know what your talking about when the video itself proves you wrong and your on the internet the biggest source of information that proves you wrong, Mr.Scientist

djskagnetti 4 months ago
I am a real life Ichthyologist. This fish is a horrible creature and will attack humans on sight, as we are very tasty to them. It’s obvious this monster is stunned due to being shocked with a taser harpoon. A taser harpoon is like a harpoon but has electrodes in the tip of the head, used by whalers and deep sea fishermen alike. When it impales the creature a fishermen delivers over 8,999 volts into the monster’s body. It’s lucky they did, otherwise everyone in this video would be dead today.

Happy New Year everybody, have a great 2013!!

Make McDonalds Tell Us How Many Hearts They Use

Posted by – December 27, 2012

we the people

Sign the petition.  Yes I fucked up and put deplore instead of implore.  Sign it anyways!  We need to know how many hearts we are eating!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-mcdonalds-tell-us-how-many-hearts-they-use/pmV5x8hx

 

 

Shut The Fuck Up, Neil deGrasse Tyson!

Posted by – December 21, 2012

shut the fuck up neil degrasse tyson

Ring In The New Year Right

Posted by – December 20, 2012

multiply

This year, why not make a really good New Year’s Resolution for once in your life? Make an oath to yourself, and to the internet, that you will stop posting these bullshit hallmark happy-go-lucky sugar-coated lowest-common-denominator make-everyone-happy waste-of-time fucking cocksucker macros on facebook or anywhere else! If you are the type of person who has to define themselves by retarded quotes then you are exactly the type of person who is nothing like those quotes. Why not make up your own quotes, why not make up your own definition of yourself? Nobody wants to read this shit, nobody cares, nobody thinks it’s sweet or cute or funny or amazing or a life-changer, it’s not going to make a difference in anyone’s day except waste 10-30 seconds of their life, 10-30 seconds that they’ll never get back! YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD! What does it take for you motherfuckers to understand? So, please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, have a macro intervention for a loved one, somebody who you know is making these, or even an intervention for yourself if you can’t stop posting these. MAKE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION THAT WILL HELP EVERYONE!

shitty hallmark macro

/rant

Popular Items For The End Of 2012

Posted by – December 19, 2012

Here are some popular items in my store.  Click any of the pics to see the top 90.

 

This year, my 5th on Zazzle, has been my most successful year yet! If you are one of the fantastic individuals who has bought something from me this year or in the past years, thank you very much! The money I make on Zazzle goes to a good cause – Me, and into the making of my music. I hope to add some keyboards and chaos pads to my music in the near future, and any sales I make is certainly helping me to reach my goals. Also, I’m hugely in debt due to working the last 15 years at shit jobs, lol.

For those of you that have never seen my stores: I try to make things that please and offend, that are funny, witty, cynical, that make people think, or are just plain weird. I like to make a lot of abstract art, so there’s plenty of that sprinkled in. Weighing in at almost 30,000 products for BlackOgre Online SuperStore alone there’s surely something you’d like! If you have a chance, please visit my stores, and, if you would be so kind, help me out. I truly appreciate my fans, or anyone that looks at my stuff for that matter. I’m just a speck in the big internet universe after all, to get you to come to my blog or my store, just to appear at all on google results, has been a long and arduous task. I really do appreciate you all coming here. Thankssomuch!

Cycling Through Strangers’ Facebook Pics

Posted by – December 18, 2012

stranger's facebook pics

 

And there’s always the best friend who comments, “OMG YOU LOOK SOOOO CUTE!”

Is It Wrong To Be Obsessed With Felicia Day?

Posted by – December 14, 2012

Felicia Day

Is it wrong to be obsessed with Felicia Day?  I first saw her on TableTop with Wil Wheaton, and I was like who is this strange yet cute lady?  So I googled her and a music video for her show the Guild showed up as the first result.  So I watched it, and then I’m like wtf is the Guild?  So I googled that and watched the first season.  And then the second season.  Back to back, nonstop.  I was pretty surprised by how good it was, I really liked it.  I played Anarchy Online for 6 years and am currently on month 2 of playing DDO.  So I can completely relate to most of the stuff in the show.  By the middle of season 2, where she just screwed up talking to the stunt man and was doing a webcam about how her mouth always betrays her (been there), I realized I was thinking, “hey, I would treat you so wonderful you’d never feel like that again!” and then I realized,  “wow, I’m kind of obsessed with this girl….”  I realize that she’s a big star and has a million better options out there, and she’s just portraying a character, and maybe I’m just a sucker for a girl who needs a white knight, but hopefully one day I will be able to find a girl like this one.  Kind of awkward, kind of nerdy, extremely beautiful, smart, quick-witted and funny.  Post or present MMO addict a plus.  Hats off to you, Felicia Day, you are a wonderful actress and stunningly beautiful.

 

 

 

People On FaceBook

Posted by – December 13, 2012

People on FaceBook are so helpful that even when somebody has already resolved the issue at hand several more gracious souls let the op know what’s going on.

brendz

Math and Facepalms

Posted by – December 2, 2012