Month: January 2012

Welcome To Costco

Posted by – January 29, 2012

The end of a legacy?

Posted by – January 28, 2012

On monday this guy comes in and says he’s my boss’s son and he’s there to work. I don’t believe him for a second because I know my boss’s son and he’s 8. So I call my boss and he tells me just to let him work the register. Then the next day he comes back with my boss and my boss tells me that this guy is going to take over managing the place because he had to go back to Jordan. “But don’t worry, nothing will change.” I ask why he was going and he said his mom was sick. The next day I ask my boss how long he’s going to be gone, and he tells me hopefully not long. But then he says, “Even when I do come back the guy will still be managing because I need to focus all my attention at the store on the north side.” So the new manager comes in today and tells me he knows I’ve been here the longest so he’s giving me the weekends off, but then shows me the schedule for next week and it’s all closing shifts 5pm to midnight. Monday through thursday. I’m like wtf?! and he says he’s the manager and he needs to work the mornings because he goes to school at night. His job was to keep costs down and so he was going to work 7 days a week open to 4 and get paid salary. Only he was going to deal with paperwork, write checks, and everything that I have done for the last 3 years. He tried to make it out like he was taking the brunt of the blow by saying he wasn’t going to get overtime or anything and he had to be there 7 days a week. He said if I had a problem to call my boss and talk to him. I tried calling twice from my phone and once from the store phone, but it went to voicemail each time. The new manager then gave me his phone number and said that my boss wanted us to all call him from now on. So I just got fucked. I at least asked him to give me fridays too and he agreed, which is nice, but it’s still cutting like 20 hours off my check, which is a really hard fucking blow. I’ve worked there almost 6 years, doing the mornings for 3 years, doing everything that guy says he’s going to be doing now and I never got paid salary. If I even asked for a raise my boss said I could find another job if I wanted more money. I even texted my boss, saying, “You said nothing was going to change and now I’m working 5-close monday through friday, what’s the deal?” and he never even texted back. The same thing happened over at the other Loon. The lady Lorena, who worked for my boss 10 years, got pushed out because the new manager wanted to work mornings. She finally got fired over some bullshit along with everybody else who worked there for years. I bet my boss told them all over there that nothing was going to change there, either. How long before this happens to my store? Even if it doesn’t, before I was doing ok on money – I had to work 45 hours a week, but I was at least ok financially – but now I don’t even know if I can make ends meet. And I gotta work nights now? This is fucking terrible. “Hey, thanks for working for me for 6 years, oh by the way, FUCK YOU.”

He Died Of Dysentery Poster

Posted by – January 12, 2012

He Died Of Dysentery Poster

I had the design everybody has, the actual in-game snapshot of the wagon next to the river

but I had blown it up too large and it was really blurry.  There was really no way to fix it, so I deleted it and decided to go a different route =P

Check em all out here.

Soaking Wet Darkglow Mouse Pad

Posted by – January 12, 2012

Soaking Wet Darkglow Mouse Pad

I’m going through all my categories and checking tags and what designs are on what products because Zazzle just released a ton of new stuff like notebooks, pitchers, tea pots, laptop sleeves and I haven’t done the last few products they released, like the tiles for giftboxes, etc.  For a lot of them I didn’t have posters, binders, ornaments, necklaces, coasters, steins, etc. either, stuff that came out a year ago.  So I’m going through each one and adding new tags that are relevant and adding descriptions in a larger font in the overview description, and I noticed I didn’t even create this color for this design.  The entire category has been empty since I made the others on 7/8/2010 7:03 AM.  Doesn’t look like much, but this design sells 😛  Promote it with your own rf code if you’s a zazzler.

Check out the most popular of all the 12 colors.

ElectricGirl 1 Tshirts

Posted by – January 12, 2012

ElectricGirl 1 Tshirts

This was only on posters.  I was like wtf?  It looks great on everything else too!  Check out both designs here.

I’m Severely Disappointed By Everything Hat

Posted by – January 12, 2012

Disappointed 1 trucker hat

Had to redo this design.  For a year and a half it said Dissapointed *facepalm*

Check out the new properly spelled versions.  Get one for your wife on your anniversary.

Attitude – Come Get You Some Plaque

Posted by – January 12, 2012

Attitude Red Plaque

A Musing.

Posted by – January 1, 2012

3 hours til midnight and 2011 is gone.  It really went fast!  Tonight, as I suspect I may be catching the flu from a co-worker, I opted to stay in and quietly reflect over the year and jerk off.  I had several personal accomplishments and feel really good going into the new year, even if it is the end of the world.  So, anyways, I wanna ramble on like I’m smart, so here is the story of the VSU.

Back at the start of the year, my friend Dustin and I were talking about this guy we used to know who was a drug dealer.  He would answer stuff in the vaguest possible manner.

“Hey, man, what’s up?”

“Not a whole lot….”

“What are you doing?”

“Just driving around….”

“Oh, yeah?  Where did you drive to?”

“Here and there…”

“Did you see anybody?”

“I saw a few people…”

“Did you see anything cool in your travels?”

“I saw some things….”

“Ok, well… alright then.  You take it easy.  Seeya”

And you would walk away from the conversation knowing absolutely Nothing of what he did.  After 5-15 very specific questions asking him about his day, you would know exactly as much as you did when you started the conversation, which is Nothing.  But you felt satisfied, like, “That conversation went pretty well!”  We called them Vague Drug Dealer Answers.  I suppose when you are a drug dealer this is a pretty good way of sounding like you give a fuck but not telling anybody what you’ve actually been up to in case they are an informant or just a dick who narcs you out.

So flash forward a couple months.  I notice, all over Facebook, that people do the same thing in their posts.  They say something vague, and it gets people interested in them for a bit.  They’ll say something like, “Well my arm’s broken.” and that’s it.  It’s a well-crafted vague status update designed for a very specific purpose:  to induce sympathy or concern from a person’s peers.  People cannot resist commenting on something like that!  They are physically unable to ignore it.  They Must Know!  Comments range in the form of:

“OMG DOOD/GURL R U OKAYE?” – the illiterate friend who’s only knowledge of the english language is what he/she learned through texting.

“How did you break your arm?”

“Oh, good job, dumbass.”

“Call me when you get a chance or text.”

etc.  But they all accomplish what the op wanted:  Get Me Some Attention.  Even the good friend who sounds like a dick by saying, “Oh, good job, dumbass.” is at least some form of acknowledgement.  Maybe the op doesn’t answer right away, maybe they bide their time and people kinda get worked up into a frenzy – they have to comment Twice!  This is serious!  People expect the horrible, the worst that can happen.  “Come on, tell us what happened!!!”

6 hours later – “Oh, I fell down some stairs…”

Crisis averted!  That image of them getting in a horrid car crash where there’s a 50-car pile up and a train is derailed and a plane crashes on the train and the train plane crashes into the 50-car pile up CAN FINALLY BE WIPED FROM YOUR MIND!  Nope.  The dumbass just fell down a 3-stair staircase because they were wasted.  Feeling alone?  Not very wanted?  Post a vague status update and watch the comments roll in!  BINGO – Your life has merit again.

So I was noticing a lot of those on Facebook.  I’m the kind of guy who’s on Facebook all dayyyy, everyday.  I can update from my phone, so it’s a lock – nothing gets by me, I see a Everything.  And I saw a Ton of these.  It reminded me of vague drug dealer answers.  So I posted something about vague status updates in March or April 2011 as a status update, making a joke of it, and then I forgot about it.

But a couple months later I saw this macro:

Which totally reminded me of vague status updates and vague drug dealer answers.  So I made a group called Celebrating the VSUs (Vague Status Updates), added a bunch of people around May-June, and we have been copy pastaing people’s vague status updates ever since.  Click the Vague Status Updates category to the right to see a bunch of examples.  We’re nice about it, we don’t copy the name, or xxxxx out the name, and try to keep cities out of it, etc.  Just the update themselves.  It’s been a lot of fun over the past 8 or so months!  And I’m happy to have met all the new people I have met in the group, and proud to be a part of it, and glad that I can spread a little joy to a usually otherwise joyless world.  Without all of you the group would be nothing.  Thanks, VSUers!

Somebody Please

Posted by – January 1, 2012

hook me up with Katy Perry 😛